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Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Good writers
We have been discussing On Demand writing in class. One important idea we have talked about is needing to hook our readers in when we write. Pretend you are trying to sell someone a vacation, and show how you would hook that person in and really get them interested. Make sure you think about your audience. Write at least 5 sentences.
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mallary b.
ReplyDeleteThis vacation is really cool.You can sit by the beach and relax or swim in the ocean.You can go to the indoor water park at the vacation and get splashed by water or sit in the hot tub.If you get hungry there is a nice resturant in the vacation's hotel.When you wake up in the morning you can go to the resturant and have a good breakfast and same for lunch and dinner.if you really want to have fun you might want to go to sea world and see sharks,whales,fish and the great water snake.This vacation is also low price,only $200.00 dollars.
jas-elen f
ReplyDeleteAre you trying to find a good vacation and spend less money? yes? well, you should come down to sugar vacation jf and win a trip to hawii oh and it only coast 1.00.Guess what there will be a store in hawii it's called mb basket ball. And don't forget only 1.oo but the whole trip cost 50.00. So come on down to the Tennessee sugar vacation jf and win a trip to hawii. bye come on down.
My name is Noah. In our class we have been talking about hooks. No not the fishing hooks. Grammer hooks,like do you want a vacation at a low cost.That would get alot of people"hooked". I sure do hope you understand what a hook is.
ReplyDeleteEricah M.
ReplyDeleteHi! I selling a tropical family vacation.If you are a lucky buyer you and your family will get to go to Orlando Florida.You will also get $1,000 to spend.The hotel is only $50.00 with a great view.Another thing is if you buy 10 nights you get free disney world tickets when you book a room.The hotel has a pool,spa and a water park.And parents the hotel also has a elegant resturaunt.The whole trip costs $250.00 for the whole trip.The airplane tickets are paid for and first class.So please buy this once in a lifetime trip.
Hi I am Taylor and I am going to try to sell you a room at a very nice sweet. The things that are at the sweet are an indoor pool and and a lovely place to it and it has a hole row of snackes. There is a water park that you will ingoy
ReplyDeleteone way to hook my reader is to tell them a eally cool thing i am trying took hook them with like i am writing about a little boy a way to the reader is to tell them about the little boy like tell them what he can do and stuff he can not do and stuff he like and other tkings like that. And the second thing is that the reader whats to know were he lives and what heeats and other stuff like that.
ReplyDeletetatiana p.
ReplyDeletemy oudience is my friend.hi my name is tatiana p.Iam wondering if would want to buy a trip to florida?Also it is very cheep it is only $100 dollars.It will also come with a free stay at a hotel.There is a pool/water park for kids and adults.there is very good restourants with very good food.there is a pretty fun zoo with a bunch animals.and an fun park for kids.
Hi my name is Maranda
ReplyDeletewe use to have five animals witch were two gekoes two hedgehogs and one hamster but one of our gekoes died so we got a pet guineapig and we named it chocletchip because it is black and brown.
Hi, my name is Cody. Ms. Ashley's class, I think you guys should buy a vacation to Disney World from me. You can have lots of fun. Teachers, you can get this for a low price! In Disney World, there are roller coasters, water slides, and at the end of the day there are all kinds of fireworks. You should buy this from me because this offer can not be beat. I have the lowest offer in Germany.
ReplyDeletedear cheyenne Frist i would say that there are beaches.there is a resrunt that ia amysme.the resrunt name was pizz.when you walk down the round and then stop to get some ice cream.and there are some beaches in the shade.we see all diffent hats,shirts, shorts,hoodes,blue and pink seweater.and there are maps,and stutues. Mallory P.
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteMy name is Tyler W.I like On Demand writing a little.I'm not very great at writing,I'm getten there.I only need help on cursive.
Dear Mrs Manoni, There is a place or should i say vacation.There is going to be food, parks,waterslides,and other fun places and things to do.I what to pursad you to go.And if you and max your hasband did not get married then you could get married there if you what to.There will be pizza and if you wanted ice cream.Then you can got one.there will be jacices,and partys and pets so.Will you want to go on the vacation.There will be all that stuff.And there is coaters and you will fun. And you should buy it from me because it will be cheip
ReplyDeleteAustin b I would start off by telling my audiance that it has a low price. It has a luxury sweet hotel. It has no flight fee. It also has a good water park. It has a really good veiw of the beach. This would be what i would tell my client.
ReplyDeleteKeri,
ReplyDeleteDear Mom,
I would like to interest you in a vacation to the Bahamahs. Trust me you deserve it.First of all i will sell it to you for a low price of $50 bucks,because your my mom.So are you interested?Well if your not then here is a little somthing to hook you in,you get a huge suit.You also get to go to your favorite dinner for free,but wait thats not all you get to ride in a lemo.Also if you say yes within the next 5 minutes i'll take $5 off the price.Come on I know your interested!
Dear Mom and Dad,
ReplyDeleteThis vaction spot is cheap not like those other places. The weather is nice and sunny all day long and it is not too hot and sticky. This nice vacton spot has a nice hotle and it even has free meals thats Breakfast,lunch,and Dinner! This hotel has it own swimming pool,a water park,it aslo has a theme park,but thats not all it has free internet!This nice vaction spot is only $15.00 yes you heard me $15.00 only for a limted time.
ashley d
ReplyDeletewhy hello there would you like to go on vacation well why did i askyou i new that your answer would be yes. what no are you saying no to a vacation? not enogh money WHAT! their is enogh money in the world to go on vacation my goley what are you poor sorry what do i know o ya i know florida would be nice and relaxing what do ya say yes no what o ya that whould coust a bit well we have fifty states what will stop us the end of the world ne idont think anything will stop us not even jupider we have clifty falls you get free breakfast ya well they have free enternet four king size beds yes in one room what am i studering yes youll take it well nice working with ya.
Hi im Cheyenne and im telling you, you have won a vacation. The vacation is very cheap. The food on the beach is only 2 to 4 dollrs. The weather will beautiful, the sun will be as hot as fire. There will be all kinds of pools so you will have fun with your family and friends. There will also be a bunch of palm trees. The palm trees will be beautiful. There wont be alot of people there though. There is one more thing about the prize, you can bring as many people you want. There will also be a AMUSMENT PARK in town there. At the AMUSMENT PARK it is only 5 dollars a person. Thats it, well, i hope you have a good time!! :)
ReplyDeleteAre you needing a cheap vacation with excitment? WELL YOU FINALLY FOUND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. Here at WORLD'S SWIRLS you take a ride on your wild side till you have nothing left yo say it is only 20 dollars per person.We have a wonderful food course.OUR RIDES AND WATER RIDES we make sure your family will have the time of your lives SO COME VISITE US AT WORLD'S SWIRLS!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete